Realistic Fiction
by SuperKateB
Summary: Nigel shares the plot of his favorite television show with Bug. (NigelBug slash. Also, completely goofy.)


**"Realistic Fiction"  
A Crossing Jordan Fanfiction  
In the "Strange Bedfellows" Continuity  
Written by Kate "SuperKate" Butler**

"What the Hell are you doing?"

Bug's natural talent to make an innocent question morph into a steely accusation caught Nigel's attention, and the taller man glanced up from his computer screen to see his better half looming behind him, hands on his hips. "Well, pet, it's nice to see you, too," he teased before turning back to his task at hand.

Bug harrumphed. "I thought you were running tests in the trace evidence lab, not fooling around on the internet back at your desk." He furrowed his brow. "What in the world are you looking at, anyway?"

"If you must know, I took a break from running mindless tests to read a bit of fanfiction based on my new favorite television show." He shrugged slightly. "You should watch it with me next week. I think you'd rather like it."

"If it detracts from your obsession with _The Gilmore Girls_, it deserves a Golden Globe award." The Indian man frowned as he leaned in closer to the monitor, his shaggy eyebrows arching. "_Bridging Nile_," he read off the screen. Nigel smirked slightly and continued scrolling through the page. "What's it about?"

Nigel's long fingers danced across the keyboard, clattering heavily and causing a new window to pop up, featuring a large _Bridging Nile_ header and a number of buttons. "It's the adventures of this justice-obsessed, self-righteous, small-town detective, Nile Callahan, and his merry band of coworkers." A click of the mouse brought up a photo of a dark-haired, chisel-chinned young man in a charcoal coat displayed in brilliant, full color and surrounded by a handful of grayscaled, attractive twenty-somethings. "Bold, smart, and troubled by an unfortunate past, Nile - " The mouse arrow wiggled up and down the main character's picture. " - seeks not only to catch and prosecute the bad guys of society, but also to discover the secrets to his parent's bloody double suicide from twenty years before." He grinned widely, brown eyes sparking as he gazed up at Bug. "Charming, isn't it?"

The long-time Trekkie rolled his eyes, but there was evident curiosity in his voice. "A mystery story. I'm not surprised." He gestured to the group of grayscale figures. "Who are the other characters?"

Sliding the pointer around highlighted the other characters, and Nigel moved it first to a pretty middle-aged blonde woman wearing a brown business suit and an undeniable frown. "This one is Nile's hardball commanding officer, Captain Tracy Garrison. She's a divorcee with a rebellious teenaged son." Another shift of the wrist brought a red-headed younger man, standing beside the Tracy character, into color. "Garrison has a steamy on-and-off affair with her young assistant, Louie Mitkowski. He's a free-spirited ex-hippie, and more than fairly amusing. Not to mention cute."

He winked up at Bug, who rolled his eyes briefly before leaning closer to the screen, studying the characters with obvious interest.

Another mouse movement highlighted two characters at once, both young Asian women with dark hair and eyes. "Nile works most closely with two brilliant crime unit experts, both from Japan. The short one is Yui Hamasaki, who is a blood and DNA expert, and the other is Fuzzy."

"Fuzzy?"

"Well, her birth name is Nadeshiko Tanoranamotosa," Nigel embellished with a shrug, "but she's a zoologist and hair analyst, so they call her Fuzzy for short." He smirked slightly, arching a naughty eyebrow towards his other half. "Fanfiction authors love to pair these two up, you know, and most true fans argue that canon suggests their lusty shenanigans."

The shorter man snorted. "I'm sure those stories are you favorites."

"However did you guess, love?"

"Pervert."

Nigel laughed heartily for a moment before inching the pointer towards the last character on the page. A chic young woman, with long, dark hair, bright, dark eyes, and obviously an informed sense of fashion flashed into full color. Slung casually over her shoulder was a white lab coat. "And lastly, we have Holly Woodson, the bright big-city medical examiner who finds herself transplanted into the small Oregon town. Besides being cynical, sarcastic, and moody, she's Nile's main love interest. The two are like night and day." He sighed miserably, shaking his head. "In last week's episode, _Tired of Waiting_, they nearly kissed! But then, alas, Nile's mobile rang and he was forced to take the call, ruining their chances at bliss!"

The overly dramatic Brit threw himself back in his desk chair, hands clutched to his chest, and Bug chuckled at the spectacle as he straightened up again. "Interesting," he decided, nodding towards the screen, "but it sounds pretty unrealistic." Nigel regarded him with arched eyebrows. "I mean, an ME fooling around with a detective, just like that? Two Japanese crime unit experts ending up in the same town and possibly sleeping together? The commanding officer having an affair with his assistant?" He shook his head. "That just doesn't happen in real life, Nigel!"

No sooner had Bug finished the thought when Woody, a whirlwind of black trench coat, came careening around the corner and skidded to a stop in front of the duo. "Hey, Nige, Bug," he greeted quickly, flashing them a smile. "Is Jordan around? I made her promise to do lunch, and I'm not letting her renege."

"In her office," shrugged Bug, watching as the detective took off in such a hurry that he nearly knocked Lily off her feet. Luckily, the young woman had been walking down the hallway with Garret, and he caught her and straightened her quickly. She blushed; he smiled.

The two wandered out of view and Bug glanced down to continue his conversation with Nigel just in time to see the much taller man smirking at his computer screen as he scrolled. "What now?" he questioned as the grin became maniacal and turned up towards him.

It was the other man's turn to blush when his companion reached up and both briefly and discreetly patted him on the arse. "Oh, I was just remembering that you said the plot to _Bridging Nile_ would never happen in real life," he pointed out, before dropping his hand and returning to his search for fanfiction.

Bug frowned, his eyes drawn to the sight of Woody and Jordan wandering down the hallway and towards the elevators, smiling and laughing together.

Nigel's smirk didn't fade even as Bug turned to leave their shared workstation. "Now, what was it you were saying about the unrealistic plot, again?"

Bug threw a glare over his shoulder. "Oh, shut up."

Laughing, the taller man watched him take off down the hall, and made a mental note to lend Bug his DVDs at a later date.

**Fin.**

Standard Disclaimer: Crossing Jordan belongs to NBC and Tailwind Productions. They are not mine.

Author's Notes: Random. Pointless. Fun.

"Strange Bedfellows" is my Bug/Nigel coupled-up-ness. It's fun for me to write. I hope it's fun for you to read. If you like the pairing, check out the other SB fics:

"Outside, Looking In"  
"Possible Impossibilities"  
"A Taste of Lime"  
"24/7"  
"The Element of Surprise"

March 8, 2005  
8:52 p.m.


End file.
